Trigger Warning: I Think

 Have you ever seen something so stupid

and so ridiculous,

you've wished killing people was legal

Because that's exactly how I feel

when I see people with the anatomy of a full-grown adult

talk about life with the IQ of a zygote

"Adulting is hard" is a vibe for these entitled excreta.

I know what you're thinking —

I could have said pieces of shit,

but I was out of shits to give

They want trigger warnings

at shows,

and open mics,

and conversations at coffee tables —

because they're still virgins

to the double penetration services offered by life

And you know what's funnier

They don't even know

opting out isn't an option.

Their collective intellect

is often lower than the temperature at the capital —

and I'm talking Celsius.

Because take them by their pretended accents,

and you'd think they were born

because someone didn't know

sucking a white cock isn't an option,

because blowjobs don't get you green cards

And they somehow all have the exact same story

in the name of struggle —

that they are from a small town

A town,

not a city —

a town —

where they went to a school

where Shashi Tharoor taught English,

and Sadhguru taught How to Fake Accents

(when he wasn't teaching How To Get Away With Murder),

and Rupi Kaur taught The Art of Pretending To Be A Poet.

But then, in hindsight of it all —

had I shot them all,

how would you and I

laugh till our intestines hurt

But then again,

with gaslit democracies finding humour offensive

and rape convicts parliamentary —

I'd rather kill with a bullet than with a joke