Saturday, 22 November 2025

The Cost Of A God

I’ve lived my entire life in cities

where telling time without a clock is hard,

where the skies stay folded between sheets of steel and concrete,

where the first rains lose their fragrance

in civilised sewage,

and religion is routine, not ritual.

Where life has moved on from survival to flourish,

so people discuss the finer things — like equality, 

because invention of philosophy is a luxury

granted only when life isn’t a bargain.


Faith is easier to lose

when lunch doesn’t cost more than the price on your flesh.



Every now and then I cross paths

with lives born of very different mathematics,

whose ticket into the city

cost them their father’s bones and mother’s flesh,

whose right to survive the city

was paid for with innocence.

They come from a land

where clocks, like culture, are inherited;

where skies stay wide and honest,

where the air smells of sweat and soil;

where life isn’t guaranteed

but earned at dawn each day.

Where softness is a rumour,

and cracked heels and coarse tongues

have no use for finer things.

Where faith is not routine or repetition

but the singular manuscript of survival.


Where clay silhouettes wrapped in religion

are the only moments

women become something more

than faint kitchen voices,

more than house-lizards

scuttling between duty and dread,

more than silent witnesses

to a man’s drunk tenderness.

For a handful of hours,

faith lets them borrow

the same skin and bone as men.


When faith is your only permitted escape,

atheism is an inevitable demise, long before death.


They often tell me, these people,

that, 

faith has been misunderstood.

And I keep wondering

whether this is the birth

of a new faith —

one that no longer asks what you believe,

only what it costs you to believe it.


Or maybe, faith isn’t misunderstood.


Faith is exhausted.


It is the last muscle people move

when all other muscles have failed.

It is the only currency left

when the world has priced dignity out of reach.


And somewhere between city glass

and village dust,

between borrowed certainties

and inherited wounds,

we all learn the shared truth:


No one believes because they want to.

People believe because they must.

Because disbelief demands a freedom

their lives were never built to afford.


And maybe this, 

this quiet, reluctant, necessary surrender, 

is the truest kind of faith there ever was:

the faith that keeps us from collapsing

under the weight of realising 

we were never choosing anything at all.

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