I Killed Gandhi

You say you hate me
You say you hate me because I killed Gandhi
You would want to believe you could hate me
You would wish you could hate me
Like the hundred thousand episodes of a measured life you have wished you could hate
Like the hundred thousand times you have flocked the streets seeking respite in the pretentious hatred of others


Hatred is not just an emotion anymore
Hatred is about belonging
Hatred is about trying to sink in the lost identities in the chores of the city
Hatred is about forgetting the sleepless nights and the empty stomachs

Hatred is like marijuana
Where the questions don't cut through
Where the answers don't matter anymore
Where the divide of ideas and beliefs are summed up in a distant blur
Where nothing else matters
Where nothing else matters but the habit of it


Gandhi is an alibi.

An alibi like any other
Like the homeless gods and their fallen altars
Like the crippled governments and the deafening religions
Alibis to feed your hunger
Alibis to quench your thirst
Alibis to buy you some more hatred
Some more hatred
And some more of it


You say you hate me because I killed Gandhi
Is it really about Gandhi?
Is it really about the killing?
Would you not hate me if I wrote stories instead?
The stories that would otherwise never make it to the daylight
The stories that would unsettle the very truths of a nation
Would you not hate me then?


You would still hate me
You would hate me in the name of nationalism
You would hate me in the name of an erred democracy
You would hate me for the sake of hatred
You would hate me for the habit of hatred
You would hate me for the love of hatred

You would hate if a man slept to another man
You would hate if a man woke up next to a woman
You would hate if a man made war
You would hate if a man laid down his guns
You would hate if a man made the choices for a woman
You would hate if a man chose the choices of a woman

You would hate for the sake of hatred
You would hate for the habit of hatred
You would hate for the love of hatred

Hatred is not just an emotion anymore
Hatred is the idea of hating someone
Hating someone who is different
Hating someone who does not agree to your apparent truths
Hating someone who isn't you
Hating anyone who isn't you
Hating everyone who isn't you


You scream slogans in the name of hatred
You burn streets in the name of hatred
You lynch lives in the name of hatred
You ridicule democracies in the name of hatred
You tear families apart in the name of hatred
You auction chastities in the name of hatred

And no one speaks a word.



For, you are the skin and the flesh and the blood
For, you are the very truth of everyone
For, you are the one and you are the all


You say you hate me
You say you hate me because I killed Gandhi
You say I killed him because I hated him
Reasons you choose to make yourself believe
Reasons you would never ask
Reasons I would never tell


I would never tell you how it felt when you cut through the entrails of a nation
I would never tell you how it felt when you traded the very soil I called home
I would never tell you how it felt when you ransacked existences in the broad daylight
I would never tell you how it felt when you preached hatred and anguish in the name of peace
I would never tell you how it felt when you estranged families at the length of an imagined divide

I would never tell you any of it
Reasons would never be reason enough to satiate madness.


You would hate me no matter what.

Would you hate me if I were you?